Last night, I went to a Mary Kay party.

Yup. I did. I was skeptical, too. The hostess, who’s a friend of mine, enticed us with makeovers, giant bottles of wine, and legendary pizza from Grimaldi’s in Brooklyn Heights. (Last night I had a dream that I ate pizza and confessed to someone that the only food I had eaten since arriving in New York was pizza. Which is more or less true. I even kind of smelled like pizza when I sweat in yoga class yesterday. I mean, what?) 

Brooklyn Heights seemed to be this weird no-man’s land beneath the Brooklyn Bridge, kind of like Where the Sidewalk Ends. We got lost not only getting into my friend’s apartment building, but in the apartment building itself. I’m actually envious that she lives with her parents, because their apartment is big and worldly and plush and I wish I could have dinner with them every night. 

Anyway, we arrived to find the rest of our party sitting at the dining room table while our MK representative, Maiza, benevolently presided. My friend had already experienced Mary Kay Ash’s wondrous line of products, so she watched the Knicks game while we looked into our tiny mirrors and ate M&M’s whenever Maiza said the words “follow-up facial.” No, I don’t know why either. We just did whatever she told us to do.

It was fun and vaguely uncomfortable, as you might expect. Maiza first tried to recruit us as Mary Kay representatives, which was unexpected but kind of made me think, huh. A little supplemental income might not be so bad. Then again, I kind of got over going to people’s houses and convincing them to buy things when I was a canvasser. So maybe not. But Maiza was very sweet and helpful, walking us through all the products and smiling, airbrushed faces that peered at us as the flipped the pages of her Mary Kay guide. I washed my face, exfoliated my lips, used primer, powder, and blush, and experienced this amazing hand softener. Holy shit. I can still smell peaches.

Mostly, it was good to hang out with girlfriends old and new (awww!) and stagger home after several glasses of wine. And get my eye brightener in 3-5 business days. 


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